Last year, my friend and colleague, Oscar Trimboli, was sitting at my table at a Thought Leaders business immersion I was attending. Oscar is one of those delightfully calm people who are so laid back that you need to check to see if they have a pulse – essentially, the complete opposite of me, the energiser bunny.
As I am also a raving extravert, it is a requirement that all thoughts that cross my mind must also come out my mouth. As I was extraverting over a number of challenges I was having (i.e., whinging), Oscar would simply look at me and say ‘And?’
For example, I would say ‘It’s difficult when you try to….’. And Oscar would reply ‘And?’ Or I might say ‘I wish that …’, and Oscar would reply ‘And?’
It took me a couple of times to get it….duh!
My mate, Oscar was challenging me to take responsibility for my own thinking, to let go of the problem and focus on useful thinking with a view to determining my next steps or perhaps even a solution! At least, that was my take on it. And it worked!
The Oscar Trimboli ‘and’ is a strategy I now teach in my Rewired Leadership programs, and it works a treat. Leadership can be hard, but there are simple tools and strategies you can employ to make leadership ‘easier’!
As a confident leader (coach), Oscar felt no need or responsibility for solving my problem for me. He probably could have offered advice, or eaten into his own time to help me out, but he resisted the need to prove to me his expertise or knowledge. The problem was mine, and I had all the answers within me, and one simple word, and some awkward silence was all that was needed to redirect me into a more productive and useful thinking space.
Great leaders trust in the innate ‘ awesomeness’ of their people and give them the time, space and opportunity to be their awesome selves. And they are comfortable with uncomfortable silence.
Thanks Oscar!
Michelle 🙂
(Oscar is an awesome coach…check him out at www.oscartrimboli.com)
You can download Michelle’s Top 5 ‘Making Leadership Easier’ strategies at this link.