We live in a world of ‘laws’.
There are Universal Laws, Natural Laws and Human or Legal Laws.
There are well-known laws such as the Law of Nature, the Law of Attraction, the Law of Relativity and the Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy (yes indeedy there is such a Law).
One definition I found of a universal law from the legal world (on Wikipedia) refers to the
…concept of legal legitimacy actions, whereby a set of principles and rules for governing human beings’ conduct which are most universal in their acceptability, their applicability, translation, and philosophical bases, are considered to be most legitimate…
Yeah. Ok. Whatever.
But I’m particularly interested in Newton’s Third Law of Motion that posits that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. I think we can use this law to our advantage as leaders.
So I’m officially launching Lochie’s Law.
“For every complaint, there needs to be an equal and energetically opposite strategic response.”
Ok, so I’m working to refine the wording, but you get the idea.
We complain and vent a lot. And we hear people complaining a lot. Complaining and venting are ‘normal human behaviours, just not all that useful’ in effecting change or feeling better in the long run.
So why do we complain?
It’s a form of communication. It can bring people together who are annoyed or frustrated about the same thing, but it can also drive us apart. It can make us feel better by ‘getting it out’ but it’s a great way to avoid taking action or facing reality or taking accountability or responsibility. Here’s a great article that explores the ‘why’ of complaining more if that’s of interest.
So Lochie’s Law suggests that every complaint requires at least the exploration of a considered and strategic response, and one that looks to solution rather than focus on problem.
Now, to be considered and strategic takes a bit of effort too. It’ the ‘how’ of the situation. It’s the ‘way’
Sidebar: In addition to ‘laws’ there are also ‘ways’. Steve Irwin and Darren Lockyer have their own ‘way’ – a great source of amusement in my family when my daughter first noticed and exclaimed from the back seat of the car – oh look, Darren Lockyer has his own ‘way’. How cool!
Back on track: So here are some ‘ways’ to consider implementing Lochie’s Law when faced with chronic complainers, or when you realise you’ve become one yourself.
- Respond with a simple re-focusing question: So what are you thinking you will do about this?
- Check for or help to discover the real issue. Tell me more about this situation? It sounds like the real issue is…. . What do you want to do about that?
- Call out the pattern. This situation seems to be a constant and ongoing source of frustration for you. Do you want to sit down and figure out what can be done to change it?
- Validate, and hold people accountable for the words they put into the world. I can see this is really getting to you. What exactly are you wanting from me in this or are you just venting? Is there are reason you are sharing this with me, because I have no control over it – but I’m happy to help you figure out what YOU are going to do.
I’m sure you will have an opportunity to employ one of these strategies really soon!
Michelle Loch
If you are interesting in learning more strategies like this, we work to understand more about the neuroscience and psychology of the human brain and human motivation in our Conversations of Substance programs, and learn to master the mindset and skillset that can help you redirect the non-useful behaviours and conversations in your workplace to more useful ones.
Click Here for more information or to register for our 2024 programs.